Just because sports are on a break due to the coronavirus, this doesn’t mean that team mascots are sitting at home playing video games or watching reruns on TV. They still have to earn a living and, even if in self-isolation, must find ways to occupy their time.
The Philadelphia Flyers’ mascot, Gritty, took a few minutes Tuesday to offer some personal grooming and hygiene tips so people can stay safe and clean during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Gritty shared his insight on Twitter, leading off by stating, “If you know anything about me, you know how seriously I take my cleanliness and hygiene. The Gritizens have asked, and as always, I’ve delivered.” From there, he included a litany of suggestions to help everyone protect themselves.
Among the suggestions offered, Gritty reminds everyone to “Wipe down all surfaces with appropriate amount of toilet paper and fabreze.” He was most likely talking about “Febreze,” but didn’t want to get into an argument over copyrights or trademarks. Additionally, the big orange furball suggests that individuals “Cover all spills with newspaper, leave to let dry for 3-5 days.”
If you run out of soap and can’t make it to the grocery store because of a lockdown, Gritty has a novel alternative. He points out that “Tide pods” are a great source of soap, but cautions against eating them. Gritty adds that, if the carpet starts to grow too tall, it can be “moved to desired length.”
Another one of his self-help tips is a little more confusing, and leaves a lot to the imagination. Per Gritty, “Most people don’t know, plungers are multi-use. Think about it.” Thinking about it doesn’t necessary clear the air on what he may have had in mind when he conjured up this suggestion.
Needless to say, the tips are not meant to be taken seriously. Gritty has always had an odd sense of humor, and, more than ever, any type of sense of humor is welcome as the world not-so-patiently waits for everything to return to normal. Humor can do wonders to alleviate stress and help pass the time, and Gritty is simply doing his part to accomplish both of these goals.
It’s also a way to let fans know that he’s safe, and that he has their best interests in mind, even if his ideas are a little too far outside the box. Gritty separately penned a note to everyone (something that was most likely extremely difficult due to the size of his hands), tell them, “We have no hockey. But we have each other. Now is when I would typically embrace you with my fur, but instead I will envelope you with my words (social distancing.) … The most adorable creates seem to be immune (Dogs, small children, and possibly ME?). Regardless, I’m taking this very seriously. My paws are [very] clean. My home is completely wrapped in toilet paper, the virus isn’t getting in.”
Gritty is always a crowd-pleaser and, for the most part (except for the incident with the 13-year-old) doesn’t cause much controversy. This isn’t true for all Philadelphia mascots, though, as Philly Phanatic, the mascot of the Phillies, knows too well. He just underwent massive amounts of cosmetic surgery in response to a dispute over who is real owner is, and could ultimately be forced to step away from the team.
Were that to happen, he already has a new job waiting for him, as proposed by TV personality John Oliver. Earlier this month, Oliver suggested that Philly Phanatic could become the official mascot of HBO’s Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, and stated, “That’s right, Phanatic. Your new team is ready and waiting for you right here. Frankly, we’ve spent money on things way stupider than this.”