A man is going to hell over the Super Bowl LIV halftime show, and he wants the league to pay for the trip. This one can be added to the ridiculous lawsuits stack, which only grows with every passing minute, but a Christian activist is threatening to sue the NFL with a lawsuit over this year’s halftime show featuring Shakira and J-Lo shaking things up on the stage.  He doesn’t want much – just $867 trillion.

$867 TRILLION Halftime Show Lawsuit

That’s not a misprint and your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you.  Dave Daubenmire, a Christian activist and podcaster, believes his soul could be damned to hell because of the “daring outfits” and “sexy choreography” seen during the mid-NFL Championship game performance.  Daubenmire believes the gratuitous “crotch shots” are offensive and is looking for compensation.

On his Pass the Salt podcast, which I won’t link to because the subject is too absurd to be repeated more than is absolutely necessary, Daubenmire explains, “I think we ought to sue.  Would that have been rated PG? Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son — whose hormones are just starting to operate — was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?  Could I go into a courtroom and say, ‘Viewing what you put on that screen put me in danger of hellfire’?  You didn’t tell me I was going to watch it! You just brought it into my living room.”

He also believes that the performance is discriminatory against Christian because, you know, Christians never twerk.  He adds “You didn’t tell me there were going to be crotch shots. That’s discriminatory against the value I have in my house. You can’t just do that.  I want to sue them for about $867 trillion.”

The halftime lawsuit, if he can find a lawyer to side with him, would target the NFL, Pepsi (for sponsoring the show) and his local cable company.  Obviously a fan of Footloose with Kevin Bacon, he believes the dancing and writhing during the show is akin to “pandering pornography to minors” and likens it to a “strip club performance.”

Daubenmire, who, I admit, just got a lot more attention for his podcast, added, “I tuned in to watch a football game — I didn’t tune it to watch porn show.  Why are they allowed to pump that right into my home without my approval?  I didn’t tune in to see J. Lo’s crotch.”

This is the same Daubenmire whose son was arrested and subsequently put on probation on a charge of child pornography.  24 years old at the time, Zach Daubenmire was busted with 37 still images and 26 movies on his computer.  Apparently, the elder Daubenmire hasn’t instilled his same values in his son.

This is also the same man who visited Hillary Clinton’s home, lobbying that she be arrested for not fulfilling her duties as a public servant.  That was in the spring of last year, and he defiantly said at the time, when asked if enough support for his effort would be gathered, “They can’t kill us all.  We have two choices: Rapture, or the Second American Revolution. That is what we have. That’s our two choices, because if we’re sitting around and waiting on the Rapture and the Rapture doesn’t come, you’re going to be locked down in a gulag.

With regards to his latest undertaking, which was launched after nothing more than a constant string of failures, the overzealous activist probably won’t find much support, just like in all of his previous endeavors.  The solution during the game, of course, would have been to simply change the channel and move on.  However, the simplicity of that option appears to have gone over his head.

There’s no word on whether or not he enjoyed the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show.